Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
this must be what syphilis tastes like
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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