Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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