someone get that fucking seahorse.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
