Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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