frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
