ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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