My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
