did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
