He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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