we have officially lost it.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
