Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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