Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i can't believe i had my finger in that
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
