Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
