Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
