Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
then he tried to convert me to islam
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
