I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
