the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
