So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize