Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
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How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
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I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.