I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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