Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.