6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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