Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
