I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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