So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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