Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
