i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
