DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
