I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Panties = found
Randomize
