I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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