So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
