Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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