You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
last night I used snow as a chaser
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
