this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
