Kiss
Puke
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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