Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
