Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
