I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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