Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
