Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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