are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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