Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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