hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
