Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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