You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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