i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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