U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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