It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
