Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
