Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
