as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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