I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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