will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
