haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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