best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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