I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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