So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
