The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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