y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize