How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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