Whats the glycemic index on semen?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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