i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
