party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just tell him i said nine months
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We need a shit load of segways right now
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
